Seriously, it does. A lot. Like, to the point where my mother made me some new slacks for work recently and I nearly cried. They fit! And had pockets! And I could sit down and walk and, oh! Happy day!

The ironic part? She made them based off an old pair of off-the-rack pants I really like, but that have gone out of style. I bought them back when loose, wide-legged slacks were The In Thing; a comfortable and practical design for big-thighed ladies always always alert for zombie apocalypses like yours truly. Sadly nowadays skin-hugging legging-esque things are all the rage–yes, even in work pants–and these are both brutally uncomfortable and horrifically lacking in pockets.

Nothing makes me angrier at work than having to sit down for eight hours a day in uncomfortable pants with no pockets. Nothing. So fuck that.

Tl;dr: I have new pants and women’s clothing sucks.