The Brogressive loves Reddit, but hates Tumblr because it is “too whiney.” The Brogressive #FeelsTheBern, but wrote an angry Facebook status about the #BlackLivesMatter protestors for “interrupting” Bernie Sanders in Seattle. The Brogressive is the college student-turned overly serious D.C. intern, who will politely clap when Senator Elizabeth Warren talks about equal pay for equal work, but is alarmingly quick to defend rapists, asking questions about false accusations. The Brogressive is all defensive wonk talk and no action, because at the end of the day, he does not need to work towards justice, since he already benefits from systems of power.

As frustrating and hurtful as the Brogressive can be, the most annoying thing about him (other than the misleading Obama 2012 sticker on his MacBook) is that he is already practicing stump speeches in the bathroom mirror and networking his way to the top, so he can someday run for office. But the scariest thing about the Brogressive? There’s a good chance he’ll win.

Laura Jensen on brogressives.

This is hardly a new phenomenon, except in my day we used to called them “South Park Republicans“. They’re basically white guys who’d really like to smoke weed and vote for the GOP, all while furiously masturbating over how “clever” it is to deny the existence of institutional power because “things are complicated”.

Yeah, right. No shit, Sherlock.