The counterargument is that for many of us, our condition is part of who we are, and that in the same way one wouldn’t refer to “a person with blackness“, or “a person with lesbianism”, because one’s skin colour or sexuality are not something other and separate from oneself, in the same way autism, for example, is not something removable, and so shouldn’t be talked about in the same way we talk about cancer.
Sequenzia makes a further argument, that “see the person, not the disability” is erasure in much the same way that “I don’t think of you as black — I don’t even *see* colour” or “you’re not like those *other* women” are.
Andrew Hickey on x-first language.
The point is that there’s no clear answer here. If someone tells you they’d prefer to be referred to as “an x person” rather than “a person with x”, then respect that.