So those of you who were alive in the 80s and 90s may remember the heyday of the “Satanic Panic”, which was when everyone was running around convinced that Mom and Pop Whitebread were secretly sacrificing children to the Dark Lord in blood-and-sex-soaked rituals beneath their white picket fences. It was literally like everyone thought End of Days was a documentary or something, and would’ve been hilarious except for the fact that, yanno. Dozens of people’s lives got ruined after they were accused of child abuse.

Oh, and the fact that it never happened.

Like, literally never.

The Satanic Panic had more to do with fame-seeking, malpractice by quack psychiatrists, and puritan hyper-vigilance than anything involving any actual Satanists and/or actual cult survivors. And before you turn around and laugh at how silly and groundless it all was, might I remind people we have a new version of this now, and it’s slogan is “If you see something, say something”.

… Yeah.