Dear Literary Agent. I just finished NaNoWriMo. My book is 54,000 words! I have not read it yet, but I did put seventy whole hours into writing it, which is a lot, therefore you have to publish it. I have also attached three additional Word documents, representing my finished-yet-unedited books from NaNo 2010, 2011, and 2012. If you don’t like any of these, please forward them for me to someone who does. Thank you!

–Query Quagmire asks “Can you circle at least five things wrong with this picture?”