Apparently the savings supermarkets thought they would make in wages by installing self-check machines have almost been outpaced by the rise in self-check shoplifting. Go figure.

Confession: Once I accidentally pressed the wrong button on the produce screen and bought my nectarines as an onion. This brings my self-check-to-cashier crime ration to 1:1, on par with the one time some kid gave me my jalapeños free because he couldn’t figure out where to find them in the register.