Let me share something with you: I have been diagnosed with Asperger syndrome, as [UCSB shooter] Elliot Rodger allegedly was. I was a desperately lonely teenager and remain a deeply lonely adult. As an adolescent I often felt so frustrated and lost that I thought the force of those feelings would tear me apart. But I could never have been Elliot Rodger. The idea of externalizing loneliness into violent rage is completely foreign to me. It is unthinkable.

I couldn’t have been Elliot Rodger because I am female. I was raised and socialized as a girl, and I am generally read and understood as a woman. My femaleness does not lend me some essential, inborn empathy that men “naturally” lack. Other people are often as inscrutable to me as men claim that women are to them. The difference is that, as a girl, I was conditioned to view my fellow humans—including and especially boys and men—as just that: as people.

–Freelance Feminist on not making excuses.