Back before everyone started playing the start-up lottery and tech became a casino, you had women who were engineers and mothers. It was a solid nine to five job. You had to be stable and reliable and it was possible for women to be mothers and engineers. That is far less tenable now.
There was a company board member I talked to at one of my previous jobs who I feel exemplifies the problems we are currently seeing in tech.
This guy was married with daughters. He also worked in the Bay area while his family lived elsewhere. He was telling me about how he only sees his family one day every week or two because he’s traveling all the time. I was upset for his wife and asked if it was hard. He told me he was used to it. I was annoyed and clarified I meant was it hard on his wife and kids. He smirked at me and said, “Well, they got used to it.”
I got the impression from this person that he figured I was doing programming as a hobby. I mentioned how one morning I made frozen pizza for breakfast and he said, “Hey, enjoy that while you can before you get married and have some kids.”
It was just assumed that I was going to get married and have a family. This was just something I was doing to keep a roof over my head until that happened.
I felt that this person saw no point in cultivating me. I think he saw doing anything to cultivate me would be a waste because I was just going to marry someone and fulfill my purpose of being a caretaker.
This attitude really fucking sucks, and not just for me.
The Red Queen Coder on “hobbies”.
BRB this married, thirty-something IT professional is just going to be adding Halt and Catch Fire to her to-watch list.
You know what’s fun? At my current job, the big money development project involves getting sent to Dubai. You want to be the company hero and earn the big bucks? Then you take your Dubai posting, swap stories with the boys about sneaking off to Bahrain to get hammered, then come home and get your promotion.
Mmm. Yeah. About that…
Must be nice for some, I guess.