Have I heard that Dr. Lecter kills and eats people? Yes. But at the party I attended, Dr. Lecter denounced people who seek to eat human flesh as monsters. Also, Dr. Lecter welcomed more than a dozen guests and DID NOT EAT ANY OF THEM! What an optimistic vision, the thing the country is craving right now.

I hate a sad party, and the other dinner parties I’ve attended recently were all remote, because they say it is not safe to go out in the night because of some sort of man on the loose who hunts fellow humans in a transparent plastic raincoat. At Dr. Lecter’s dinner party, I felt as though none of that was happening! You know, maybe it’s — not? I would sure prefer to think it wasn’t!

Is it my responsibility to be at all skeptical about anything that is happening? I don’t think so.

Alexandra Petri just wants a nice night out

I would point out this article is wrong about one thing: cannibalism is (at least in the US), not actually illegal per se. If you can legally obtain human meat in some way then, yes. You absolutely can eat it. Y’know. If that’s something you really want to do.