So last Sunday, just before D&D, I got this massive urge to learn how to knit. Mostly because I’d been looking up dark mori images after getting hit with a New Writing Project Idea, and also because I like knitwear, and. Well. It seems like a useful skill to have to prepare for the inevitable oncoming collapse of society and/or my plans to retire to the woods to become a bog witch in my old age.

My plans got put on hold for a few days when I came down with, like. The worse case of the lurgies I’ve had in years—and the first time I’ve been sick this year—which, thanks, office Christmas party. So that necessitated a few days of doing things like getting a covid test (negative) and passing out for hours at a time while my body had a metabolic freak-out.

By Wednesday I was feeling a bit better, so Googled up the local knitting shop—which turned out to be within walking distance to my house—and had an awkward conversation with the lovely older lady in said shop who pretty obviously didn’t know what to do with the awkward goth in the Baphomet t-shirt whose project idea was “I dunno knit practice squares until I figure it out I guess” and would only buy wool in black or grey.

Nonetheless, I walked out with some wool and some needles and spent the next day just… trying to learn how to knit.

Things I discovered during this process:

  1. I’m pretty sure someone, almost certainly Mum, has tried to teach me this before. I’d never really been into it (I remember I found crochet more enjoyable), but weird how the hands remember what the brain does not.
  2. I initially cast on about sixteen stitches and ended up with something like 39. This was after intentionally dropping a whole bunch, too, when I messed them up and couldn’t figure out why. I ended up knitting down (via knit-two-together) to 30 rows and keeping that until the end.
  3. The point of practicing on something that didn’t matter if it was bad or not was basically just to… no worry if it was bad or not. You can see me getting used to knit stitch, trying to reduce the number of errors in each row while still moving reasonably quickly (okay, you can’t see that bit, but I did). Once I felt I was getting the hang of it, I moved onto stockinette (purling was… a lot easier than I’d thought I’d find it), then a 3×3 rib.
  4. I tried some slip-stitch edging at some points because I Read On The Internet it made nice edges but I… don’t think I was doing it right? To revist: later.
  5. Casting off is really hard wtaf?
  6. This is way more fun that I remember it being as a child and also super addictive like woah.

Anyway. By the self-declared end of this project I was feeling bold enough to attempt my First Actual Project, an oversized beanie. Because no one makes beanies big enough, damnit!

So, like… yeah. Knitting. A Thing I Now Do, apparently.