So you wanna be a naughties nerd, pt. 1: Linux.

So you. Yeah, you. Have you heard; hipsterism has come to the internet. All those thirty-somethings wanting to relive their teenage years on Geocities, making ugly beautiful again as an ultimately futile protest against our focus-tested UX overlords.

And maybe you thought all of that sounded pretty neat. Pretty swell. Maybe it would’ve even made you nostalgic—made you ready to crack out the text editor and whip-up a personal site in hache-tee-em-ell even—except, well. You missed the boat, first time ’round. Maybe you’re too young or maybe you just weren’t Extremely Online in the late ’90s/early ’00s and this Titanic is one you never managed to punch your ticket for.

Well, never fear! You’re in luck. Because I was there and, in 100% unironic ’00s style, I’m gonna write you a fuckin’ tutorial, so you can be too. Y’know. Retrospectively.

So slap on some velour loungewear and pop a Linkin Park minidisc into your player. Because we’re about it kick it. Naughties nerd style.