quiltbag

/Tag: quiltbag

Queer.

This is a somewhat controversial stance, but to me queer means something completely different than “gay” or “lesbian” or “bisexual.” A queer person is usually someone who has come to a non-binary view of gender, who recognizes the validity of all trans identities, and who, given this understanding of infinite gender possibilities, finds it hard to define their sexuality any longer in a gender-based way. Queer people understand and support non-monogamy even if they do not engage in it themselves. They can grok being asexual or aromantic. (What does sex have to do with love, or love with sex, necessarily?) A queer can view promiscuous (protected) public bathhouse sex with strangers and complete abstinence as equally healthy.

[…]

Queer doesn’t mean “don’t label me,” it means “I am naming myself.” It means “ask me more questions if you curious” and in the same breath means “fuck off.”

Asher on labels.

I’ve cut out a whole big chunk here because otherwise I’d just be quoting the whole article, but… yes, this.

It’s something I don’t talk about much on a personal level but, let’s be honest here; you will take the label “queer” out of my cold, dead hands.

2018-11-26T11:08:08+10:0030th March, 2019|Tags: culture, quiltbag|

Kockring Ken.

[The designer of Earring Magic Ken] was looking for new ideas for the next year’s Ken—because a survey the company had done asking girls whether Barbie should get a new boyfriend, had returned the results that girls wanted Barbie to stay with Ken, but that wanted Ken to be “cooler.” The designer, realizing one of her nieces was exactly in the age group that played with Barbies, took her niece and several of the nieces friends out for ice cream at a mall. And there, she asked the girls to point out all the boys who they thought were dressed “cool.” As people walked by, the girls would point out guys (usually older teens or college-age looking), and the designer took notes and made quick sketches of the clothes and hairstyles.

She was not aware that the chrome metal ring some of the young men were wearing on chains around their necks were cockrings. And truth be told, I wouldn’t be surprised if some of the guys wearing them didn’t know, any more than a lot of the girls in the mid-eighties inspired by Madonna started wearing silicon cockrings as bracelets. And also, most of those guys probably weren’t gay. It’s often been the case that certain marginalized groups, including by not limited to queers, establish fashion trends that get copied subsequently by other folks.

fontfolly on where fashion comes from.

Wait. A pash-band is a what now? themoreyouknow.gif

2018-03-29T10:14:20+10:0020th September, 2018|Tags: culture, quiltbag|

Moar pls.

How can you not be pansexual in space? There are so many things to have sex with. I didn’t think that was that weird. Yeah, [Lando’s] coming on to everybody. It just didn’t seem that weird to me ‘cause I feel like if you’re in space it’s kind of like, the door is open! It’s like, no, only guys or girls. No, it’s anything. This thing is literally a blob. Are you a man or a woman? Like, who cares? Have good time out here.

Donald Glover is the Lando we deserve.

Dear Disney,

Please give me all the Pansexual Lando’s Naughty Space Adventures.

A galaxy full of love,
Alis

2018-07-27T14:36:42+10:0022nd May, 2018|Tags: pop culture, quiltbag, star wars|

False equivalence.

When we wear rainbows, we’re saying “my sexuality is valid, and your sexuality is valid, and bi, gay, pansexual, transexual, asexual, and straight people are all equally valid and have a right to be who they are.” Yes, we’re saying the straight people are valid, too. We aren’t calling for straight people to self-deport. We aren’t calling for straight people to be killed. We aren’t calling for straight people to be converted. Rightwing anti-gay people do call for queer people to be fired from their jobs, denied the right to rent or own homes, denied the right to put their spouses and children on their medical insurance, denied the right to marry their significant others, denied the right to adopt, denied the right to protection from assault and harassment, denied health care, and so forth. They advocate rounding us up and putting us in prison, or camps, or so-called hospitals (depending on how blatant they are in their bigotry). They advocate the widely debunked conversion therapy. They advocate bullying queer kids in school (when you insist that religiously conservative kids can’t be punished for bullying queer kids or the children of queer parents, you are advocating bullying).

When the anti-gay people (including the neo-Nazis) do that, it isn’t a difference of opinion, it is oppression and assault.

fontfolly on differences.

My husband, bless his centrist heart, has quite a few friends of the far-right fundamentalist Christian persuasion. I… will not hang out with them socially. I’m just not interested in playing nice with people who actively support political parties, organisations, and policies that make my life more difficult (up to an including deadly). I guess I’m just funny like that.

2017-09-26T08:41:46+10:001st March, 2018|Tags: culture, quiltbag|

Allied cover.

But actually, the more compelling reason to welcome allies has nothing to do with allies themselves, and everything to do with people who are closeted, questioning, or otherwise not able to be out as LGBTQ.

If your high school’s Gay-Straight Alliance welcomes allies, that means that you can attend even if you’re not sure what your orientation is or aren’t ready to share it.

Miri on allies in queer spaces.

Miri then goes on to talk about the place of “actual” allies, i.e. straight people, and instances where allies really are welcome (e.g. social events, political and activist organizing) versus other instances where, maybe, spaces are more for “allies” in the above sense, rather than allies (e.g. emotional support or safe space groups).

A thoughtful look at a potentially sensitive topic, and definitely something for straight allies to consider.

2017-09-26T08:10:03+10:0026th February, 2018|Tags: culture, quiltbag|

The happy monster.

Someone still needed to save the monsters.

I could not live with the [knight-princess-monster] triangle anymore. I didn’t need magic to redeem the ugly—it was only necessary to care.

I hungered for a world that was unashamed to show it cared. Stories where the ugly and bad things were also true things. Where the real spells were laid in forbidden names and shapes, the misbegotten claws and teeth of my childhood.

My hungers, too, were undergoing a new transmutation. I was in the market less for the redemption story that never was, and more for the narrative that would show me how to live as a monster. Maybe even a happy one.

May Peterson on monsters.

It’s probably not a secret that pretty much the only story trope I’m interested in is the monster “redemption” arc. And I mean literal monsters–things with fangs and horns and claws, things that don’t look like the “accepted” norm–and the sort of redemption that means being both loved and being able to love without having to compromise that authentic, physically non-conforming self.

On the one hand, I suppose I’m nothing if not predictable. And on the other… sorry not sorry, basically.

2017-08-15T08:41:27+10:0019th December, 2017|Tags: culture, quiltbag|

Disclosure.

Unpopular opinion time:1 I do not believe trans people should be “obligated” to “disclose” that fact to romantic and/or sexual partners, particularly not in the early stages of a relationship, and I believe any expectation otherwise is transphobic.2

  1. TERFs don’t @ me. []
  2. And, as a corollary, that means when trans people do disclose, it’s as a mechanism to try and protect themselves from transphobic violence. Meaning the onus isn’t on them. It’s on cis people to clean up our shitty reactions. []
2017-08-10T12:02:31+10:0011th December, 2017|Tags: culture, cw: transphobia, quiltbag|