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Asgard Funk.

This hit
That ice cold
Brother hrímþurs
That white gold
This one, for them gýgjar
That íviðja
Straight masterpiece
Stylin’, while in
Livin’ it up in the city
Got fur on with Asian silk
Got kiss myself I’m so pretty

I’m too hot (hot damn)
Call Thor and the einheri, man
I’m too hot (hot damn)
Make Surtr wanna retire man
I’m too hot (hot damn)
Say my name you know who I am
I’m too hot (hot damn)
Am I bad ’bout that, honey?
Break it down

Girls hit your hallelujah (whuoo)
‘Cause Asgard Funk gon’ give it to you
Laugardagr night and we in the spot
Don’t believe me just watch (come on)
Hey, hey, hey, oh!

Wait a minute
Fill my cup put some mjöðr in it
Take a sip, flyta on
Thjálfi! Chariot drawn
Ride to Miðgarðr, Jötunheimr, Helheimr, Ginnungagap
If we show up, we gon’ show out
Treasures and lies, gift wrapped

Before we leave
Imma tell y’all a lil’ something
Asgard Funk you up, Asgard Funk you up

Come on, dance
Jump on it
If you jötunn than flaunt it
If you æsir than own it
Don’t brag about it, come show me
Come on, dance
Jump on it
If you jötunn than flaunt it
Well it’s Laugardagr night and we in the spot
Don’t believe me just watch

2015-05-06T20:35:05+10:006th May, 2015|Tags: loki, norse mythology|

New stories for old gods.

Today I’m over at the Qwillery leading with a thrilling intro on population demographics:

Here’s a weird thing to think about: in the age of the Vikings, between around 800 CE and 1000 CE, the population of the whole of Europe is estimated to’ve been in the vicinity of 30 to 50 million people. In comparison, a little over a thousand years later, in 2012 CE, an estimated 76 million people in the US took themselves off to a cinema to watch the old Viking gods Thor and Loki battle it out in Marvel’s The Avengers.

Or, to put it another way: today, something like twice the entire population of medieval Europe knows who “Thor” and “Loki” are, in one country alone.

Who says the old gods are dying?

2020-05-12T08:34:13+10:005th November, 2014|Tags: guest blogs, loki, norse mythology|

Ragnarök has been declared!

That’s right, people! It’s time to get down to Vígríðr, because the end of the world is nigh! 22 February, in fact, so save the date!

Fun sights you may get a chance to see during this time include:

  • The sailing of the great ship Naglfar, made from the nails of the human dead!
  • Three great armies, converging on Ásgarðr: the jötnar of Múspell, lead by Surtr and his flaming sword; the frost jötnar, lead by Hrym; and Hel’s legions, lead by Loki and his now-freed children.
  • The shattering of the Bifröst!
  • The devouring of the sun and moon, Sól and Máni, by the great wolves Sköll and Hati Hróðvitnisson.
  • Hati’s father, the Fenrisúlfr, breaking free of his bonds to devour Óðinn.
  • The subsequent revenge-fight between the Fenrisúlfr and Óðinn’s son, Víðarr.
  • The epic, ocean-churning, to-the-death grudge-match between Jörmungandr and Þórr!
  • Further grudge matches between Freyr and Surtr, Týr and Garmr, and fan-favourites Heimdallr and Loki!
  • The epic flight of Níðhöggr, as he gathers the corpses of the dead between his feathers.
  • The sundering of the skies, shaking of the Yggdrasill, burning of the earth, and more!

Those wishing a bit of R&R during the event may join the two surviving humans, Líf and Lífþrasir, down in Hoddmímis holt for light refreshments and sanctuary from the carnage.

Afterwards, everyone is encouraged to head out to Iðavöllr for an epic after-party with survivors including Víðarr, Váli, Móði, Magni, and Höðr. Also be sure not to miss the final keynote recitation by the resurrected Baldr, as he welcomes you into this new and reborn age of peace and prosperity!

This is definitely an apocalypse you don’t want to miss. Space isn’t limited and participation is mandatory, so book your tickets today!

2013-11-22T09:13:04+11:0022nd November, 2013|Tags: culture, norse mythology|