australia

/Tag: australia

(Un)settled.

On Australia’s founding lie. Spoiler alert: It’s that Aboriginal Australians were exclusively hunter-gatherers, and didn’t perform activities like farming, irrigation, or the building of permanent structures.

There’ve been rumbles about this for years, but the viciousness of the right-wing culture warriors has meant it’s never really gained ground. It’s good to see that changing, both from the perspective of recognising Indigenous achievement (something white Australia is… historically awful at), as well as the gains it can bring to land management and agricultural outcomes in the future.

2019-01-05T15:31:49+10:005th January, 2019|Tags: australia, culture|

We’ve always been at war with east Asia.

And by “east Asia” I mean “anywhere brown people come from” and by “been at war” I mean “have implemented racist immigration policies” dressed up in various politically correct (in the term’s original sense) lipstick.

2018-06-26T13:50:09+10:003rd June, 2018|Tags: australia, culture, politics|

The Red Rooster Line.

Mapping wealth in Sydney by tracking fast food chains.

Mum grew up in Sylvania–a.k.a. “The Shire”, a.k.a. the white working class part of the city, nowadays most famous for hosting race riots–while Dad is from Lidcombe, which Back In the Day was very much Migrant Country. The fact that an Anglo girl from the Shire decided to marry a “Westie” was, back in the 70s, still A Big Deal for both of their families (although ironically, I think since then Sylvania has gotten more “ethnic” and Lidcombe more gentrified). Their first house, meanwhile, was in Chatswood, and nowadays would be worth a fortune (back then it was a termite-infested dump)…

2017-10-04T10:28:38+10:0010th March, 2018|Tags: australia, culture|

A modest proposal.

However, the right keeps telling me that I’m not respecting DIVERSITY OF THOUGHT and that the test of freedom of speech is not how we tolerate ideas we approve of but how we tolerate ideas we find obnoxious or reprehensible. I’m also told that we need to respect “both sides” of a debate even when one of those sides if offering violence, advocating genocide or treating the humanity of others as some kind of special favour.

So here’s an idea. Why not put the issue of whether headbutting Tony Abbott is OK to the Australian people? Naturally, I’d vote no – we shouldn’t headbutt Tony Abbott. The government could spend several millions of dollars on a shonky survey and put the question of whether Tony Abbott should get the same basic rights as everybody to a vote – because apparently, that’s how rights work in Australia.

Camestros Felapton on the Australian way.

Given Australia has already had a “respectful debate” on whether or not it’s offensive to call Tony Abbott “A C∀N’T” (a judge ruled it is not), I think it’s only fair that we have another one on whether it’s okay to headbutt Tony Abbott every time he appears in public.

I mean, obviously I will vote no–people could seriously injure themselves headbutting Tony Abbott, which would cause unnecessary strain on our healthcare system–but as we all know it’s important to let all sides of a debate have their say. On television, for example, and in parliament, and in our national broadsheet papers. We wouldn’t want anyone’s freedom of speech impacted, for example, by legally mandating that it’s not appropriate to headbutt Tony Abbott. And I may be an atheist, but I think it’s important for religious organisations who hold sacred beliefs regarding headbutting Tony Abbott to express their concerns about a world in which they could not exercise their religious freedom to headbutt Tony Abbott. I mean, what if someone who supports headbutting Tony Abbott is forced to bake a cake for an anti-Tony-Abbott-headbutting ceremony? What then? Does Tony Abbott’s so-called “right” not to be subjected to violence every time he appears in public outweigh the concerns of headbutting traditionalist cake makers the country over?

Truly this is a question that only a national postal survey could decide.

(Also see.)

2018-04-27T14:02:12+10:0026th September, 2017|Tags: australia, culture, politics, xp|

Foods from Australia.

What to try if you’re just passing through, and need to return with comestible gifts for friends and family. Those who’ve read Liesmith should recognize Fantales, which are amazing awesome sinfully delicious sugar-hunks it’s a crime you can’t get elsewhere.

Gotta confess, however, that I do love a Mint Slice more than a Tim-Tam.1 Either way, Americans? If you’re wondering why no-one in Australia except pretentious hipsters gives a shit about your piss-weak Oreo nonsense, it’s because we all grew up eating real chocolate cookies.

  1. Basically because I ate a lot of Tim-Tams in college, a.k.a. senior high. I used to be in the nerd club that ran the school’s IT network, and the librarians we “worked” for paid us in Tim-Tams. Apparently you can get enough of a good thing, go figure. []
2016-11-09T08:10:08+10:0011th November, 2016|Tags: australia, food|