10 Things I Assume You Know About Me if You Read My Journal

This originally appeared as a blog post back in early 2010, but the information isn’t exactly going anywhere so I figured it’d be useful to turn it into a static page. Yanno, in case anyone actually cares about this sort of thing. Oh, and it’s worth noting that the title is mostly a figure of speech; I don’t actually expect everyone to know these things, but think of them as the non-spoilery Alis Dee canon or… something like that.

Executive Summary: I’m an (1) Australian of (2) anglo-slavic descent who grew up into a (3) married (4) Gen Y (5) IT geek. I’m a strong believer in the scientific process and evidence, which makes me (6) an anti-theist (7) and incredibly argumentative. I’m a self-identified (8) member of the fen, though I tend to lurk more than anything else due to (9) crippling social awkwardness and insecurity about myself. I also produce (10) original fiction and art, though not nearly as much as I’d like.

1. I’m an Australian. I’ve lived my entire life out on the east-coast, in areas that are highly urbanised. I’ve been to the “outback” exactly three times in my entire life, and I didn’t like it much. I was raised in an area of the country that primarily consists of middle-class, educated professionals, and now that I’m an adult I’m part of what’s known as the “lattebelt”; kind of centre left-wing elite that’s reviled by “mainstream” Australia while still managing to be awash in its own privilege (and swathes of middle-class guilt). Being Australian on the Internet means I’m particularly sensitive to perceptions of “US cultural imperialism”, particularly in any debates about privilege. This frequently gets me in trouble.
2. I’m of anglo-slavic descent. My mother is descended from Irish first-fleeters, which makes me something like eighth-generation Australian on her side (about as far back as you can go while still being white). My father’s family, meanwhile, immigrated to Australia from the Kuban region in Russia in the 1950s when my father was five, making me a first-generation Australian on that side. Dad is fairly estranged from his family — what little was left after the war — which meant I never grew up feeling particularly “woggish“; occasional visits to my inter-state grandparents were about as close as I ever got to my pre-Australian heritage. But I don’t identify as anglo (read: white), either. On the other hand I look anglo (to anyone other than Eastern Europeans, apparently). The combined effect gives me a sense of ethnic and racial dissonance I still haven’t quite yet figured out how to handle.
3. I’m married. My husband’s name is Mat, and we got married in a tiny ceremony of thirteen people in a restaurant. We had a week-long honeymoon in Melbourne during which Mat worked and I broke my toe. It was the best week of my life. Mat and I currently live in a two-storey, three bedroom town house in a part of town that’s mostly filled with retired ex-public servant baby boomers. We avoided having to buy out in the boondocks — when most new home owners are forced due to property prices — by buying the most run-down place we could find that was still structurally sound. Some new curtains (made by my ultra-talented mum), paint and carpet later, and we’ve got a pretty damn nice place.
4. I was born on 12 Novemeber, 1983. Which makes me very squarely one of the reviled Generation Y. Growing up in the 1980s has left me deeply cynical and self-interested, with a deep yearning for some kind of more moral, more equitable future but an intellectual rift with the ex-New Left baby boomers who dreamed of the same thing back in the 1960s and 70s. I have a bunch of theories on where the negative perceptions of my generation come from, and occasionally like to test run them on people sitting next to me on long plane flights.
5. I’m a geek. Growing up, my dad had what I thought must’ve been the world’s biggest collection of sci-fi and fantasy books. I’m an only child, so I guess my dad didn’t have a son to share his geekdom with, meaning the task fell to me. My parents always encouraged reading and imaginative play, and when we got our first computer those skills translated into an obsession with adventure games like King’s Quest. Adventure games lead to gaming in general, and I spent most of my teenage years in front ofDOOM or Diablo or Baldur’s Gate. Around ’98 or ’99, one of my friends introduced me to HTML and I started making my first websites. That lead to learning PHP which lead to blogging which lead to a degree in Computer Science which lead to a professional career in IT. I don’t talk about work in much detail for privacy reasons, but I mostly work in operations. That is, doing things like keeping servers online and maintaining corporate systems like Exchange. I’ve also spent time on a helpdesk; a job I hated so much I spent most of those six months in tears. I do do some development stuff, but it’s mostly for fun rather than work, and I haven’t really learnt a new language since university.
6. I’m an anti-theist. I believe strongly in science and evidence-based decision making in all aspects of life, which often means I clash with people who have a more “wouldn’t it be nice if…” sort of outlook (I generally think it would be nice too, but sadly the real world is frequently not nice, and ignoring that fact doesn’t change it). That’s before we even get into religion. My parents raised me a “spiritual agnostic” and I went through all kinds of belief systems — including several I invented myself — before managing to kick the habit only recently. Being an anti-theist doesn’t just mean I don’t believe in God; it means I actively think religion and “religious thought” are socially harmful. As well as gods and religions of all stripes, other things I don’t believe in include alternative therapies,^[i] chi, the soul, most conspiracy theories, life after death, reincarnation and the wisdom of the “lifestyle drug” culture. I like evidence. Even when it conflicts. I like knowing what we don’t know just as much as knowing what we (think we) do.
7. I like to argue. A lot. I do it almost constantly, even if what I’m arguing against can’t actually argue back (e.g. it’s a movie or cultural assumption). The process of argument — of deconstructing ideas — is essential to my belief in evidence and the scientific process, as described above. I tend to have a dialectic mode of thinking about issues, which means I argue both sides to myself simultaneously. This can cause problems with people who are more used to taking a right-vs.-wrong view in debates, when I end up arguing against someone who previously perceived me as an “ally”. I also tend to be bad at assessing the line between “fun debate” and “flaming”.
8. I’m part of the fen. I’m a self-identified member of media fandom, and believe in the concept of “the fen” as being distinct from the more male-dominated form of fan communities. I’m a supporter “meta fen” activities like the OTW and am one of those people who believes fandom is a predominantly female form of expression. Less academically, I’m a slasher who tends to hop fandoms every six months or so, though I tend to favour “rivalry” type pairings. I’m very much an OTPer, usually having only one pairing I read in any one fandom. Though I occasionally produce my own fic, I tend to mostly lurk/read in fandom. Oh, and RPF gives me the creeps. Sorry about that. (I used to even have a hang-up about live-action fandoms because I felt the separation between character and actor was too blurry, though I eventually got over that one. Mostly.).
9. I’m painfully introverted and socially awkward. This one, I’ve been told, can surprise people, since I tend to project as brash and loud. It’s very much a projection, however, and it’s caused by over-compensation for my insecurities around myself. I don’t think I’m particularly nice or likeable, which leads to a hang-up about not “inflicting myself” on other people. I’m also rubbish at making friends and have no capacity to engage in small-talk or the like, which means I tend to try and “one-up” every conversation I’m in. On the other hand, I know that. On the other other hand, I still do it.
10. I’m a writer and an artist. Not a particularly good one — and my output has dropped off sharply since I started working — but I still give it a go. My biggest original series is Urban Nordica, a collaborative effort of which my contribution is known as * supposed former apocalypse junkie. Once in a blue moon, I even post art in this journal. Constructive criticism on my writing is appreciated, on the art not so much.

1. Caveat: I do believe quite strongly in the placebo response, and I believe alternate therapies are good at eliciting it. ↩